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QUETZA'S NOTES: Just so we're clear, Max's shirt says, "Tap me like a keg of beer and drink me all up!"

Robert (Lizard, Male, Straight) is, despite appearances, a lizard. Bob, as he's called on-air, always for some reason or another wanted to be a turtle instead of the cursed lizard form he had been given at birth. Thus, using his ill-gotten funds from his ritzy local newsanchor career, he's gotten many advanced surgeries, from shell-generation/implantation to facial reconstruction, to slowly transform himself into the tortoise he's always wanted to be.
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