I hate to whine about this when others, like Josh, are having much worse issues, but I just need to say something. Tonight, July 1, 2012, 2:02 AM, is the 2 week mark that I haven't been able to get over that guy. I don't know why, and I really need to. I mean, I thought this would be like all my previous crushes, where I just got over it within the day. What's so different about this one? That it was a guy? That he's one of my best friends? I want to know why it hurts so much. The night he told me he didn't feel anything towards me......that was the first night I had ever really cried in a very long time. It felt so good to actually cry for once, yet it hurt so much at the same time. About two days after that night, I found out he was in a relationship with some other chick. I never felt my heart drop like that before. I didn't break down or anything, I just.......I don't know, felt bad? Since then, I haven't gotten as worked up about it. That is, up until a few nights ago. I was just sitting in my room, figuring out my phone, when I read something his girlfriend had posted on his Facebook wall. Stupid that it was Facebook, but still I felt the tears come back. Just about everything she had typed was almost everything that I thought about him. Strange, adorable, cocky, lovable, only some of the things that made me think of him. When I read "I get to call you mine," that's when the tears started flowing. I guess it was because I'd probably never have that luxery.
A few nights ago, before reading his girlfriend's thing, I had gone to sleep over at another friend's house. We went to the local bowling alley to play this game called Pump It Up. A few minutes before we arrived, my friend told me that he invited the guy there, too. I wasn't angry or sad about it at all. It made me feel happy, knowing that I'd get to see him again. We played, he'd "shadow" when I was playing sometimes, etc. I was happy. Then I found out that he was also spending the night at my friends place. You can imagine how happy that made me. We bought some food, got to the house, played video games, stayed up all night, all the good stuff. It was the happiest I'd felt in a really long time. Then, the night I went home, I read his girlfriend's post. Just like that, I was all depressed again.
I guess I just needed to vent about it. I mean, I don't understand why this is so hard. I've never been so.....torn up about things like this before. Like I said, usually if the person I had feelings for wasn't interested, or they got into a relationship, I'd normally get over it within the day. This is taking two weeks and counting. Why is this so hard? What's so different? Is everything finally getting to me? Was it more than just simple feelings for a person? Why does this hurt so much? I just want to know why. Why?
Please, just ignore some of this. It's pretty much just a vent post, and there really are more important issues at hand without people worrying about this. Besides, the whole relationship thing is getting old for some people, I'm sure.
Hey babe, wanna be my Final Fantasy?
I like my women the way I like my coffee. ......Wait.......I don't drink coffee.........