Of Heros and villains (OOC)

[Black Garuga]

Hey Buzz, one slight thing wrong with you're post...
It's not black anymore that was asking the questions, it was Jack.
Just to point out.

[Buzzwolf]

That's kinda cause that's what she sees him as, she knows the main name as jack, but with everything she's seen of him so far, he's still perceived as being black

[Black Garuga]

Oh, ok

[aires163]

so...Whos going to post next?

[Anonymous G]

Woo. Sorry for going MIA on you guys and leaving you all hanging. I just got caught up with college and stuff. I had pretty much told myself that I wouldn't try to keep up with the forum until I was settled in.

[Buzzwolf]

Apologies I'm taking as long as I am getting this things gears turning again...my classes started up at the beginning of the month, makin me night crew and totally opposite of everyone elses schedules, and a week or so ago, I had a run in with a sergeant that kinda threw me a bit mentally, took me a bit to get back on track without effecting posts after that one...anyway! For those still hangin around, I've got about half the post done, I'm just working out some transitional kinks and linking the events, hoping to have it up tomorrow or Saturday

...if I don't have it by then...someone needs to pester me to get it done...there's way too much happening in this rp to let it die without a proper ending xp

[aires163]

Its ok Buzz, take all the time you need. Im in no hurry since I have the access to the rest of the internet to now keep me preoccupied.

[Buzzwolf]

Ugh...post is up...post is stupid long...buzz stayed up too late posting it...gonna hit the rack now...I'll check it for any inconsistencies in the am...

[aires163]

Does any one have any objections to me doing a time jump to 00 PM? This way Kevin can get out of school.

[Buzzwolf]

Does any one have any objections to me doing a time jump to 3:00 PM? This way Kevin can get out of school.

Uh...ya may want to bump it a tad bit later than that...I've kinda been playing the events of the villains as something happening a bit later on in the day, closer to dusk if you catch the bits about the light...I figured any of the players could go about their day story and connect the dots when it was time to connect the storylines for a fight ^^ I'd say little closer to maybe six or seven...

...I probably could've played it off a bit differently on that front too...but the villains weren't planing anything in broad daylight, and if I'd waited, the later 'time' probably never woulda cone around...so yeah...

[aires163]

Alright 7:00 PM it is. This allows me to do something that I have had planed for awhile now. Karl is going to fight Alice.

[Takeru]

Mind if I have Nick just go to the metal shop and make his weapon?

[aires163]

Both him and Kevin can be there when I write the post.

[Black Garuga]

I think after this event with king at the hospital, Jack will either die or walk away, far away. So in short, you will be glad to hear that i will NOT be posting here anymore after the loose end have been tied up.

[Takeru]

Since Buzz is busy, I'll take over for this one.

Black, let's calm down. We don't yell at you for no reason, and we certainly don't want you to just abandon the entire RP. The fact is you seem to post with the sole intent of getting the story moving as quickly as possible and without taking into account the reactions of the other poster's characters. Case in point is when you simply told Nick and Kevin something, than walked off. It's ok if you said something along the lines, of "and then, after saying goodbye, began to walk back to the hospital." This leaves it open to a reaction, and allows us to stop you and talk. You have an interesting character (though technically what your character has is more akin to DID than schizophrenia. I blame the modern media for that, not you.) and I would be very interested in seeing you continue to post and grow in your skills as an RPer. There is no magic fix, and the only way you will get better is if you let us critique what you write and you listen to what we say. I know you havn't had the warmest welcomes, but you are by no means a lost cause. You use proper grammar most of the time (a very good sign).

Now, I have outlined a few things you should work on.
1) Limit, or preferably eliminate, the amount of meta knowledge you have your character know. This can completely derail the continuity and makes people angry.
2) Try to post paragraphs. You seem to focus more on dialog than actions. Try to change that. Try just describing the tone of what you say at first, then generally expand into other areas. I'm not looking for picture perfect descriptions, those are extremely hard to do. What you need to do, after every post you write, is before you post it, look it over and ask, "How can I make this better?"
3) Don't take back what your character does without reason. Simple as that. But don't be afraid to do it if you misunderstood a post, or read it wrong. Those are times when it is good to edit.
4) Accept the consequences of what your character has done. If you walk away, and a fight starts in a place you can no longer see or hear, don't just turn around because you want in on it. It's disappointing, I know, but bare it out.


There are others, but focus on these for now. Perhaps we can work on some exercises for you, to get you thinking creatively and have more dynamic posts. I won't yell at you like Buzz. yelling has it's place, but when you feel defeated and unwanted, I know that is not the time. Buzz, when you read this, be a little nicer when correcting someone. No one likes to be yelled at.